Annnnd here we go! I'm finally down to the last.. and most controversial? chapter for my effed up love trilogy.
Ohhhh I don't even know where to start.
IP192.168.32.14. 2nd year. (Surprise! Suprise!)
Unlike the first two, we started out as strangers. It took two years before we got acquainted. I know him, he knows me but we've never been introduced to each other until that one event.
We have a common friend and that paved the way for us to get closer. I was still afraid to fall, I wasn't fully ready but because he made me feel like he was there to catch me, I took the leap.
My friends doubted his "sexuality" but because I was so into him, I ignored all the signs. I let the my fantasy cloud the reality. I gave it my all. I did everything to try to make him happy. Until, one day I got a huge slap in the face.
The evidence was right in front of me. I'm staring at it, thinking how I let myself waste all those precious times trying to win him over. I was, am, so stupid. I've never been so convinced about his sexual preference until that moment. I had flashbacks of all those conversations that we had, I now recognize the signs. Those little slips that tells me, "hey, we're both into guys/boys, 'teh!".
He's so good at using his words and his charm. He's so good at pretending he cares. He's just so good at playing around. He is a douche bag. And yes, now, I hate him. He was never a friend to me even though he tells people that he cares about me. That son of a bitch.
He's an asshole, I'm a bitch who stopped being "tanga-tangahan" over him. There's no way it's gonna work out so I know I had to let go, of everything, even our "friendship".
Now we're back to being strangers. I know him, he knows me, I'll forget we got introduced, ever.
I feel betrayed and yes, defeated. And because of this, I'm forever going to be afraid of love.
Love - 0; Pain - 1000
Will I ever win over pain?????????????????????????????????????????
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